The Birth of a Daughter !

So I was trying to work while impatiently waiting for the mobile to ring. A good friend and colleague`s wife was in labor and we expected a call from him any moment. Finally the call came with the very elated and teary eyed (with joy) new dad telling us about the birth of his daughter.

After we had spread the word around office and were generally talking about it another colleague said “Ab woh office mein sar utha kein nahin, sar jhuka ke ayega. Ladki hui hai na ! “(Now he wont be able to strut about the office like before. He will come with a bent head. After all he had a daughter !)

I told him “what sort of man are you to say such idiotic things - you yourself have a daughter, so does this mean tumhara sar ab jhuk gaya hai. I’d rather like to think ki tumhari daughter ka sir jhuk gaya hai to get such a father!”(What kind of person are you to say such things. You yourself have a daughter. You mean your head is now bent low after her birth. I would rather like to think that its your daughter who wont be able to hold her head high coz she has a dad like you)

To this he said “kya yaar society is like that change it first” and I responded “you are a part of society – you change first! “

Finally he said "c’mon Ruchira don’t you know how to take a joke !"

Well perhaps I really don’t know how to take a joke! That’s because I honestly can never find anything funny is such statements. They simply sicken and disgust me ! 

The very fact that we joke about such things means that such feelings and thoughts are still very much a part of our subconscious; however much we might prattle on about gender equality.

And what really pains me again and again and again is that even the so called educated strata of our society have such a mind set !

As we saw in this case too education really doesn’t help does it ! I wonder what really will help bring about a change then !

Lets Gain Some Momentum !

Overheard at work .....

PM to the Admin guy – We are going to get very esteemed visitors tomorrow. Please get some momentum.

Admin guy (looking indignant) – Momentum! sir there is no need to gain momentum. We are well prepared. Everything is moving as per schedule.

PM – what do you mean there is no need for momentum. We must give them momentum. It’s a tradition.

Admin guy (Now very confused) – Tradition? You mean it’s a tradition to show them how efficiently we work?

PM – What do you mean work efficiently? Don’t you have any momentum? I am sure you guys have it locked up somewhere in your cupboards.

Admin guy (with a glazed look in his eyes) – Momentum, locked in the cupboard with us? Sir what kind of momentum ?

PM – Oh u know paintings, small decoration pieces …

Admin Guy (with a sigh of relief) Oh you mean Memento!

PM – Off course. Now you understand. What’s the use of Admin dept when we need to tell you guys everything.

Someone needs a Rapidex English speaking course here :)

An Indian Summer!

It’s that time of the year again, when we slather on sunscreen even when we go out just for five minutes, when the sun is harsh and unbearable even at nine in the morning and the dust and the looh drives us indoors cursing the weather gods. Going out is a pain and all outdoor activities come to a standstill. There are no bazaars and fests and there is no theater. Places like Delhi Haat and Janpath become unbearable unless you go late in the evening – Its Summer time in good old Delhi!

Most of us have no choice but to stick it out except for brief respites that we might snatch by running off to the hills. Since the past few days I have been slowly and steadily melting and wilting away in the heat and it has left me with a terrible headache. So to cheer myself up I made a list of things I rather enjoy about summers in Delhi:

1)The Gulmohar and Amaltas in full bloom: Delhi turns a vibrant yellow and red thanks to the gulmohar and amaltaas trees that bloom during the summer. South Delhi is full of them and it’s lovely to drive through the shady lanes flanked on both sides with shades of yellow and orange and red. Never fails to cheer me up !

2) Raat Ki Rani and Jasmine: I simply love love love the smell of these delicate flowers. We just have 2-3 shrubs in the neighborhood but you can smell them way down the road. Raat Ki raani flowers only at night and that makes the after dinner walks very pleasant. There is one shrub just near my bedroom window and when the wind is blowing right, the fragrance that wafts into my room is unbelievable!

The jasmine blooms early morning and wilts away as soon as the day becomes hot. The first thing I do after getting up is collect the jasmine flowers and put them in tiny earthen or glass bowls filled with water. Keeps the house smelling fresh and wonderful throughout the day .

3) Mangoes: How can we forget mangoes! Fleshy, sweet mangoes, running juice as soon as you bite into them – the langdaas, the alphonsos, the Dussheris, the chausas …. Slurp ! Have them as a fruit, in a milk shake, cut in small pieces along with vanilla ice cream .. they are delicious in any form ! 

4) Watermelon : I love this fruit even more than mangoes. Take a watermelon, cut it up in small pieces, put it in the fridge for a few hours and then have it all crispy and ice cold. Delicious!

5) Cold coffee, milk shakes and Lassi: For me they are must haves every morning! I am a true Punjaban and I love my lassi along with all forms of milkshakes :)

6) Ice creams and Kulfi : There is no greater lover of ice creams and kulfi than me. Kesar pista kulfi , kulfi in a kulhad, kulfi on the stick .. kulfi in all forms and shapes and sizes. Irrespective of my long standing resolution to lose weight, I have a ice cream or Kulfi almost every day in summer!

7) Panna: I love this tangy drink made of raw mangoes! One of the best remedies for heat strokes!

8) Jamuns – We have this fruit seller that turns up every summer shouting Jamun kale kale jamun and then he gives us the jamun wrapped up in a piece of old newspaper with a lot of black salt sprinkled on the top. Our fingers and tongues get stained purple after eating them. I love the sweet - sour taste of this fruit!

9) Shehtoot (mulberry):A much lesser known summer fruit. Frankly looks a lot like a wriggly worm, you don’t really need to pick this fruit as it just falls as soon as it ripens. You’ll find it strewn all over under the tree. We used to have one in our school and the break time was spent in collecting this fruit!

10) Litchi : My absolutely favorite fruit. Somehow people don’t think much of it preferring mangoes and watermelon instead .As for me I lust after this fruit. The only problem is the fruit itself is so small and the kernel inside so big !! But it’s still worth the effort to peel and eat !

11) The smell of wet earth: One of my favorite summer smells. When the maali waters the plants and the earth is all cool and wet– I love that earthy smell.

12) Koel bird singing: Whenever I think of summer, the first thing that comes into my mind is mango blossoms and the Koel bird singing. Thankfully even in the concrete jungle of Delhi I can plainly hear it and its one of the sweetest songs I have ever heard. I look forward to it each summer!

13) Walking barefoot on the cool concrete/cement floor in the house: Most of the houses have tiled or wooden floors now but the feeling of walking barefoot on a cool cement floor is unbeatable – it’s so cool and nice to the touch!

14) Cottons: Summer is the time for cool white Lucknowi kurtas with intricate embroidery and flowy crisp cotton and organdy dupattas along with silver jewellery. One of my favorite attires! I have a huge collection of and I flaunt it every summer !

This is one of the Dupattas I just bought from Fab India ! 

15) Getting up with the Sunrise:Yeah I am one of those crazy people  who like to get up really early to enjoy the peaceful morning hours and to watch the sun come up. Since this really cant be done in the winter unless you are willing to freeze to death while watching the sunrise I really love getting up at dawn in summers to enjoy my few hours of peace and solitude !

So what do you guys like about the summers ?

(All images are courtesy google, except the last one with the sunrise - I clicked that in Rishikesh !)

A Captain's Knock ! (55 word Fiction)

The crowd waits impatiently, buzzing like a swarm of bees. He stands his guard, jittery inside but hiding it under a thin veneer of calm. The man on the other end runs, then throws. A graceful sweep, a flying arch in the air. His eyes follow it and he slowly smiles. And India goes berserk !

(This is my belated tribute to M S Dhoni and his magnificent sixer that brought the world cup home :) 
Written for Three Word Wednesday.This week’s words were – Thin, Grace and Jittery)

Are We Turning into Lonely Islands ?

Man is by nature a social animal. Even those of us who cherish our solitude seek company from time to time. Unless you are a yogi totally immersed in the search for self realization, I don’t think anybody would like to live a totally solitary life!

I sometimes feel that in today’s world, we are slowly turning into lonely islands. We definitely live in wonderful times in terms of communication. We have the latest gizmos at our disposal that allow us to connect with each other in mere seconds. But I wonder if this is not isolating us more from each other rather than helping us! I was travelling in the metro a few days back and the train was full of Delhi University students. You would expect them to create a ruckus talking and laughing together right? Dead wrong! All of them were either busy texting, browsing the net on their mobiles or had earphones stuck in their ears. There was no interaction at all! We have hundreds of friends on facebook and we buzz each other constantly. I wonder exactly how many of our numerous facebook friends can actually be called when we are in trouble. 1, may be 2?

Nowadays, most of us live and work alone. And I don’t mean just the single people, even young couples living alone in a new city feel isolated because they are away from their families. Earlier, at least in India tension and stress could be diffused easily because we had so many people to talk to- parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. Now most of us live away from our parents and are hardly in touch with our cousins and childhood friends who themselves have flown the nest in search of their dreams.

Lack of a solid support system and the hectic lives that we lead are the main reasons for the increase in loneliness and stress. This makes it even more important for us to make extra efforts to be friendly with the people around us. But we are so busy and involved in our own selves that we don’t even have time to say hello or give a little smile to others. We don’t know who our next door neighbor is and in some cases we don’t even know who the guy sitting in the next cubicle at work is.

We live isolated lives, feeling alone and uncared for, worrying over the issues and problems in our lives, not able to share them with anyone. And this makes the problems seem much much worse than they actually are!

I remember a colleague telling me that she saw another girl crying in the washroom at work. When I asked her if she asked the girl what was wrong, my colleague replied that she was running late for a meeting and had no time to get involved in others problems! In our race to earn more money, live in a bigger house, get that promotion, meet that deadline we are forgetting small things such as empathy and compassion. And believe me, in the long run these things matter more than all the materialistic things put together.

Now you might ask how a smile or even a few words of greeting can make a difference in the life of a person who is facing an extremely difficult situation in life. I read a story once in Chicken soup for the soul in which a young girl recounts how she had decided to kill herself because of an abusive stepfather. That day in school, her creative writing teacher complimented her about her writing skills and told her she could be a great writer one day. Just because of those few words of praise the girl felt her life was worth living and she dropped the idea of suicide. Sometimes just the feeling that people care enough about us to smile at us is enough. All we need is someone to listen to us and sympathize with us. We don’t need people to find solutions to our problems; we just need a few kind words!

Whenever I am down in the dumps I read a message I got from my friend in which she thanked me for her friendship and told me what a wonderful human being and friend I am. It never fails to cheer me up!
So let’s make a beginning today. Smile at colleagues, talk to the lady you sit next to in the bus every day, compliment your team mates about the good work they are doing. You will not only make their day, but believe me; this will also make you feel really happy!

Preeti of Just a mother of two has also blogged about the growing “urban apathy”. She writes about Free Love Day, an event that is happening worldwide on 25th April to promote awareness about suicide and depression, as well as a Lifestyle to promote unconditional love. Why not join in and spread the word!

It’s time we build bridges across those lonely islands!