Jul 28, 2014

Four Japanese and a Conversation

Waiting at airports, especially for late night International flights is not one of my favorite activities. The wait always seems interminate, there is nothing to do and I can never fall asleep in the waiting lounge as most people tend to do.

But sometimes things happen that not only liven up the wait but give you something to chuckle about for a long time. And also provide very good material for a blog post !

So, I was sitting at the Indira Gandhi International Airport waiting for my flight to Tokyo. I was bored and listless and couldn’t concentrate on my book.

Then four Japanese trooped in and sat down in the empty chairs opposite me. From the cameras slung around their necks and the travel guides in their hands it was evident that they were tourists.
 Once they were settled in their chairs and had arranged their hand luggage neatly around them, two of them did what all Japanese do when they have time to kill. They fell asleep. I have always marveled at the ability of the Japanese to instantly fall asleep where ever they are. They sleep in airport lounges, in buses, in planes and I have even caught a few napping while standing in the very crowded Japanese trains.

The third one promptly opened his backpack and started searching for something inside it.

The fourth, living up to the true name of all Japanese tourists pranced about the lounge taking random photographs. The Japanese take their trips very very seriously and believe in documenting every single thing. So you will see a Japanese tourist clicking pics of everything from the picturesque Taj Mahal to a dog irrigating the flowers in a public garden.

Our friend started off by clicking the pics of the washroom entrances. A portly Punjabi aunty came out of the ladies just as he was about to click and she glared at him ferociously. Our friend however was not to be deterred and he continued to go clickety click. I was totally bewildered by what he was doing till I realized that he was fascinated by the huge cutouts of men and women in traditional Indian attire at the entrances of the washroom. Once he had finished capturing almost all the loos in the vicinity he turned his attention to the planes outside and started clicking them.

Eventually our camera crazy friend settled down. Inspite of the lounge being air-conditioned, he took out a Japanese fan from his bag and started fanning himself vigorously with it. Now please remember that no self-respecting Japanese will ever venture out of his home without a fan. It’s unthinkable, almost an insult to the nation.

He shifted in his chair and complained loudly of the heat. The remaining two Japanese continued to nod over their chests and the third one continued to burrow inside his backpack. No one paid him any attention. Bored, he looked around him moodily. Suddenly his eyes fell on me sitting quietly in my corner, reading.

He looked at me and looked away. Then looked at me again. I glanced at him and embarrassed, he quickly turned away. But he continued to cast furtive glances towards me from behind his fan. He must have been very curious about me because unlike the majority of their Indian counterparts, staring at women is not something Japanese men usually do.

Finally he turned to his friend and said “I say, Abe San, There is this girl sitting across you. Do you think she is an Indian”

Abe San, for that was presumably the name of the backpack burrowing Japanese simply grunted and kept searching in his Backpack for only he knew what. The other two Japanese continued to doze.

After a few more sidelong glances at me, he nudged the backpack- burrower again. “Well what do you think?” Abe San grunted and finally looked over at me. “I don’t know” he said and resumed his burrowing.

By this time one of the sleeping Japanese had woken up. So our curious friend leaned over to him and asked “What do you think Yamamoto San, that lady .. is she Indian?” Yamamoto San turned his bleary eyes towards me and took me in for a moment. “I don’t think so. Look how tall she is and Indian women never keep their hair so short”.

This observation made the backpack burrower stop rummaging in his backpack and he joined his friends in their speculation.

“She might be European” he declared. Then ensued a very interesting discussion that encompassed everything from my eyes, to my height, my skin color and a few other things in between.

What the Japanese of course didn’t know was that since I have spent five years of my life studying their national language I could understand each and every word of what they were saying. I sat there torn between indignation and fighting an irresistible urge to laugh.

The conversation went on and on. Our camera toting friend was sure that with my black hair and eyes I was not European but I definitely didn’t look Indian. He was now wondering aloud if I might be from Russia.

The Bleary eyed Japanese scratched at his day old beard meditatively and said, ”She might be Russian. I had a Russian colleague once. Very tall those people.”

All this while I was sitting there biting the insides of the cheeks to prevent myself from laughing out loud.

The fourth Japanese, who had also woken up and had been listening avidly to the discussion but not participating, suddenly piped up and said “I think she must be from Afghanistan”.

That did it. I knew if I waited for even a few minutes more I would be rolling on the floor laughing. I had to put an end to this.

So I casually turned to them and said in Japanese “You know all of you are wrong, I am from India”. And then I gave them an angelic smile and asked, “And how did you find my country?”

The effect this had on the Japanese was priceless. Our friend, who was vigorously fanning himself, literally jumped and dropped his fan on the floor with a loud clatter. The others just froze. Their surprise was so genuine that for a full minute they continued to stare at me pop eyed. They had all turned a beet red and their mouths kept opening and shutting comically like fish out of water.
“But, but, how do you know Japanese?” one of them spluttered.

I told them.

If it had been anyone else they would have laughed uproariously at their own stupidity. But not so the prim and proper Japanese. They were mortified. It was as if they had been caught snooping into the women’s changing room. Oh the shame of it! Why doesn't a typhoon come and sweep us all away!

Finally I put them at ease by asking them what all they had seen in India. What followed was a very animated discussion about India and Japan.

All in all, this incident made an excellent start to what turned out to be one of the best holidays I've ever had!


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